Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in chaosreaver's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, October 18th, 2006
10:38 pm	if there was more fire than gunfire we might have a chance The surreal social contortionism I need to get into the places I am with my friends can be rather stunning at times to me. I feel like I have my foot in my mouth and my head up my ass AT THE SAME TIME. Bear i mind I have size 13s and my hair kinda tickles, so I'm not very comfortable in my present situation. To wit, I've managed to offend Jenne again. And in this case, it's plainly obvious that there can be no real victor. Only lonely shells, grotesque fragments of previously beautiful statuary. That's why i'm going to leave it alone from now on. Overall I have very little beef with the amount of time Jenne invests in Final Fantasy. My main concern in regards to myself is that she sees the game as a primary medium for our interation, or at the very least the realm in which we would have the most fun together. While the fiendscapes of Vana'diel are appealing, I don't have the same tenacious grip on the game, or vice versa, as does she, so the prospect leaves something to be desired when compared to an actual liaison. But in all honesty, I will gladly watch her play the game indefinitely, with none but the smallest gestures, a shoulder rub on my part, a quick glance and smile, necessary to appease me. No. What seems to have put our relationship back in the shitter is my defense of my roomates stance, as he resents her presence in our place and the lack of acknowledgement and attention he recieves while she's here. Well then, fuck it. If the consequence of my defending a position to Jenne that he won't bring up himself is that I have to get yelled at, I fail to see the reward, or even the motivation. I don't worry enough that she's on the game all the time to deserve this. Jenne and her friends can sort it out themselves. So, on the off chance that anybody relavent to the situation ever reads this, such is my stance on the matter. I will not be bothered by it again. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 27th, 2006
8:43 am	It must suck to be right all the time Well, Jenne has just walked away from me, angry for not apologising. Again. But in this case I could care less. I won't ever apologise for this. I have a significant moral problem with having animals spayed or neutered. I don't personally believe we have any right to that kind of control over thier lives. But I have to make an exception to this belief for my beloved Tsunehiko. I've deprived her of an environment where she is allowed to reproduce, and the ultimate result of that has been prolonged suffering on her part. Since I presently see no viable way to change her environment to allow breeding, and since I don't want to see her suffer, I am left with only this alternative. This does not change just how much I HATE having to do this. And if I had this morning to replay all over again, I wouldn't mind it going the exact same way because I feel no guilt in my standpoint. To have asked me to apologize for the events of this morning, especially so soon after them, is absolute dick in my opinion. For God's sake I was still in tears at the prospect! But more than that, I know what Jenne expects of an apology. An acceptance of unconditional guilt. If I were to apologize to her, it would be saying to her, and to myself, that I was wrong in thinking what I did. That I never should have thought that way and it will never happen again. That my actions, argumentative as they were, never should have been based upon this motive. And I can't do that, especially not ten fucking minutes after I've resigned myself to do something I'll hate myself for. If you really expect me to apologise under those conditions, then maybe you were right and this is crazy. I won't villify my own motives and actions by saying I was wrong to have them in the first place. Not in this case, anyway, because I am not wrong to think this way. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, September 18th, 2006
4:47 pm	A quick rundown I got to thinking the other day, my life can essentially be summed up thusly: I was born, and after a while I started school. After another while I graduated school, thence starting school. I left that school, then went to school. Having failed out of that school, I decided to go to school, whereupos I graduated, then went to school. Currently I am in that school, and pending graduation... I plan to teach. At school. Surprisingly little fills in those gaps. But yeah, there you go. Oh yeah, and hi again everybody ^_^;; (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 6th, 2006
7:08 pm	Lori... Are you actually out there? Current Mood: indescribable (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 9th, 2006
3:45 pm	The Sudden Reversal Hey all. Many things in my life have not been going well. More than anybody knows. I have during this Summer an opportunity to correct some of the many bad things, but I need to make some sacrifices in order to do it. So this entry is to announce that I will be making those sacrifices. Foremost will be my socialization time. As it stands now, I use far too much of my time frivolously. I'm arranging my schedule so that every weekday will consist of: 6am - 12pm: work 12:30 - 4:00: class 4:00 - 10:00: study then sleep repeat I've asked that I be put on the work schedule as much as possible, so that I can build up some surplus of money... which will immediately go away to bills. So many bills. None of you even know the half of it. On the weekends, I'll be going to the Leech Center, studying, and making myself otherwise presentable. I'm going to freeze my ffxi account for the duration of the summer if possible. If it isn't, then I'm going to cancel my subscription to thier service. On that note, I will get rid of both my cable television and internet service. No reason to have them when all I'll be doing is studying and I can go to the library if I need the internet. I'm FINALLY going to sell all my magic cards, and I'll be giving away what I can't sell. I've spent so much money on this stupid habit. This idiotic time-waster, with which I have no one to play. I have probably quadruple the cards I had before Jenne moved out, and I think I've played one game with Walter in that time. I'll still be losing alot of money, but I'll be losing even more if I keep them. Jenne can have her XBox back, and I'm in no hurry to get my PS2. Those readers who have managed to get his far probably want to know why. Simply for self-improvement. I've lost all that's important to me up here, and I have no chance of getting it back. I'm lazy, stubborn, selfish, and callow. I've spent more than four years at FSU, **FSU**, and all I have to show for it is a hard-fought associates degree from *TCC*. That's not good enough, by any standard. Starting this Summer, and lasting for the rest of my academic career, I'm going to strive for something I haven't had since fifth grade: straight A's. I've been a C+ student trying to make it in a first tier school, and that's just never going to happen. I was naive (to say the least) to think it was. Beyond that, I want to make improvements to myself that have been a long time coming. I want to let go of pursuits that will get me nowhere. I want to create a focus on my future, so these things that I keep saying I want may one day actually be within my reach. I want to augment my image, both my self-image and my my physical appearance. I don't need to feel like kissing my bicep or anything, but I also don't want to feel like my entire body is composed of alternating regions of pure fat and pure bone. I want to save money so that I might one day climb out of this canyon that I've dug for myself. I want to reclaim my self-respect, and feel that I deserve to have some of the things I want. I want to have a future so that I don't feel like I'm better off just dying before I'm 25 anymore. i want to grow up. So there it is. My goals, my reasons, my sacrifices, all of them large in number. These changes might, in fact probably, have come too late to change much about where my life is headed. But maybe, if i actually try this time, I can feel as though I've redeemed myself just a little bit. I doubt anyone who reads this will see me very often, if at all. by the time you next see me, you might not even remember my face. In some ways, I hope you don't. The Dave all of you have met is a loser. Can't even keep one person happy. Can't even make his life go in any direction. Can't even choose which direction he wants it to go. Until now. I apologize that this entry is so long. Then again, this IS a journal, and I'm writing this down mostly as a continual reminder. I'll be keeping an eye on my friends through LJ, even though I won't see them IRL. So, have fun, whether its a few weeks in Italy for Erica, or the same few weeks playing ffxi, or rollerskating, or whatever for Jenne and Walter, or for anyone else doing whatever else during whatever time frame. See you around. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, April 15th, 2006
9:18 pm	I have finally reached that point in my life where I lose everything. I've squandered money, ruined my academic standing, and alienated my friends. I still don't have a roomate, and when summer comes, it'll be impossible for me to handle this lease. I've been so stressed the last several weeks that I barely pay attention to my cats except to feed them or scold them when they've knocked over my things. I'm waist deep in Magic cards, half of which I bought, and the other half of which I recieved in trade for cards I bought. It's become a serious addiction, and I don't even have anyone to play with. I'm paying $14 per month for a game that I find less and less enjoyable. For various reasons, I keep missing my Thursday night class, so I have to pray that my teacher, who barely knows my face, will accept several late assignments. I even have work to catch up on in Stretch and Relaxation. STRETCH AND FUCKING RELAXATION. I'm getting angrier and angrier at Jenne as she moves farther away from me. Not because she's actually moving away, but because she's doing so and still seems to expect me to drop whatever I'm doing to help her. And in the future, I'm NOT going to drive to the very Publix stationed across the street from where she is currently working to buy her some pills. Nor will I be hassled for refusing to drive to the Fresh Market to get her car hand-washed when I'm trying to do homework. I've acted like too much of a nice guy or something; I seem to be her goto for every favor she needs, and she has no reason to think that we have that kind of relationship anymore. And I'm not even going to talk about Jared and Nick. My stuff with them is probably more stress related than anything else, anyway. What's worse, I saw it all coming a mile away. I saw myself developing an addiction that leaves a black hole in my wallet, and I let it slide. I saw myself slipping back into my lazy academic ways, and I asked no one for help. I felt myself react differently around my friends, but I practically chose not to say anything to anyone till I felt like exploding. And thus my days are spent doing nothing but regret my decisions, my inactions, and then my decisions not to act. I'm going to fail college. This is more than a prediction, and goes beyond mere academic levels. Thus far, at every level at which college counts, I've done practically nothing. And I've been here for SIX YEARS. I've learned half of everything I need from each class, then recieved a grade and a GPA which reflets it. I have set up ZERO friends/connections who may be able to help me in the future. I have no social life to speak of, excepting Jenne, and she wants less and less to do with me on a social level. I can't access my FSU e-mail account because of some technical glitch, so any important news I may have had for the last four years might as well be kept at Langley with the CIA. I have no food, a crap job for my age, $40,000+ in financial aid debt, and I will likely have nothing to show for all this once I get back home but an Associates from Tallahassee Community College. I don't even know how to talk to people anymore. At this point, even if I pull of the miracle of the millenium and graduate, I will never consider my college experience a success. After all the losses I've endured, this little war of attrition will give me piece of paper saying that I learned a bunch of stuff that even now I don't remember. And when my financial aid payments start rolling in, it will be then that I realize how much this cost me. There's no way on earth I will ever be able to afford VISITING Japan, let alone living there and setting up shop. So my little piece of paper will mean next to nothing, will have netted me that much less in life. This is really depressing. The more I think about this, the more I just want to quit. School, friends, jobs. Life. It might not even matter if I personally decide to quit or not anyway. My parents are sick of funding my misadventures for a career that neither of them really approved of anyway. They're nearly broke, thanks to me, so they might just cut off funding. Whatever. I'll just see what happens like I always do. I've gotta go before I talk myself into suicide. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
6:34 pm	The facts of Chuck -Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. -Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. -If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down. -Chuck Norris can divide by zero. -When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. -Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO. -Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas. -The French surrender to Chuck Norris every day at 2pm. -Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month -Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands. -Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris -Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop. -If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris. -Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them. -Chuck Norris once survived a suicide bombing. He was the bomber. -Geico saved 15% by switching to Chuck Norris. -Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club. -Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public. -At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris -Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter". -Chuck Norris' sperm can penetrate 13 condoms, the birth control pill, a brick wall, and the 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line in order to impregnate a woman. -Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants. -Chuck Norris thought up some of the funniest Chuck Norris facts ever, but he hasn't submitted them to the site because Chuck Norris doesn't submit to anything. -Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pisses. -The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris. -Switzerland isn't really neutral. They just haven't figured out what side Chuck Norris is on yet. -If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef. -Chuck Norris doesn't have a bank account. He just tells the bank how much he needs. -Chuck Norris ends every relationship with "Its not me, its you". -Chuck Norris doesn't give Christmas presents. If you live to see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from Chuck. -When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger. -Chuck Norris never gets brain freeze. Slurpees know when to back the fuck off. -If you try to introduce your mother to Chuck Norris, she'll introduce you to your biological father. -Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Bruce Lee, breaking him in half. The result was Jet Li and Jackie Chan. -Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel. -The phrase "Made by Chuck Norris" is imprinted beneath the surface of China. -Chuck Norris once killed 5 people in less than a second. The only thing he said after this incident was, "Damn it, when Chuck Norris doesn't want Girl Scout cookies, Chuck Norris doesn't want Girl Scout cookies." -Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris -When Chuck Norris laughs too hard while drinking milk, he accidently shits a cow. -Jeeves asks Chuck Norris. -Chuck Norris was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run. -Water boils faster when Chuck Norris watches it. -Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone. -One time in an airport a guy accidently called Chuck Norris "Chick Norris". He explained it was an honest mistake and apologized profusely. Chuck accepted his apology and politely signed an autograph. Nine months later, the guy's wife gave birth to a bearded baby. The guy knew exactly what had happened, and blames nobody but himself. -The only reason Chuck Norris didn't win an Oscar for his performance in "Sidekicks" is because nobody in their right mind would willingly give Chuck Norris a blunt metal object. That's just suicide. -Chuck Norris gave cats nine lives so he could kill them more. -In order to survive a nuclear attack, you must remember to stop, drop, and be Chuck Norris. -Chuck Norris has a mullet. Laugh about it, he fucking dares you. -Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now." -When the Incredible Hulk gets angry he transforms into Chuck Norris. -Contrary to popular belief, George Bush is a great speaker and rarely mispronounces words. He appears incompetent because he knows Chuck Norris is watching. -Chuck Norris secretly has sex with every woman on the planet once a month. They bleed for a week as a result. (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 2nd, 2006
11:21 am	As you undoubtedly noticed a few days ago, I posted the song "Fuck the World" by ICP because of a stupid fight that I really didn't feel THAT angry about. I should have saved it for last night/today. No quarrels or arguments, just a bunch of bad luck shit that happened to me all in a row. For instance, closing at Bruegger's yesterday took about an hour and a half longer than usual because we have a new 120 item list that we need to keep track of as we clean and close the store. Finally, since my manager needed to go to class, he just closed everything down and said he'd be back to close the store later. In an attempt to help out, I offered to give him a hand when he came back. Yay for me. So we leave. A little bit later we're at Bennigan's. Glorious, glorious Bennigan's. Except for the fact that the waitress was a little rude to Jenne, the only bad thing that happened was that we were given a pair of dessert's that FOUR PEOPLE couldn't finish off. I think I may have had the lion's share (which is now hurting me pretty bad. I need to take even a minor case of lactose intolerance more seriously. It's like a hate crime in my stomach, it feels that intolerant right now.) On the way back, at 10pm, mind you, I finally get the call from Jason to come help him out. I head over there, and as we start cleaning, Jason calls Chris, the General Manager, to tell him we're there to finish up the shop. Lucky us, he says "...blah blah blah big wig blah blah blah DETAIL THE STORE. so we're there for another THREE HOURS cleaning (This isn't even the full story. I'll tell you the rest if I ever get fired or just really mad at Bruegger's) So it's one o'clock. I'm just getting off of work, and now I have to study for another hour and a half for a Japanese quiz this morning. I get to class bright and early at 8am, having woken up all night dreaming about, of all things, cockroaches. We get out of that class, which is in Tully gym, just late enough that by the time I get to my car, drive it back to my place, and get to Japanese, I've just missed the quiz. And I was so out of it this morning that I didn't ask her if I could make it up. And to add icing to the cake, I found out while I was in the bank that the Denver Broncos are cutting three of thier best starters, so barring some kind of miracle or some genius drafting that I haven't even heard of, they're probably out of the playoff picture next season. Nice. Alright, I have to get to work. I'll post later tonight all the good stuff that was/is coming my way. Till next time, ja matta. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 28th, 2006
2:53 pm	If I only could I'd set the world on fire aka misplaced anger Fuck you Fuck me Fuck us Fuck Tom, fuck Mary, fuck Gus Fuck Darius Fuck the west coast and fuck everybody on the east. East shit and die, Or fuck off at least. Fuck preschoolers. Fuck rulers Kings and queens and gold jewelers. Fuck wine coolers. Fuck chickens, fuck ducks. Everybody in your crew sucks, Dumb motherfucks. Fuck critics, fuck your review. Even if you like me, Fuck you. Fuck your mom. Fuck your mom’s mama. Fuck the Beastie Boys and the Dali Lama Fuck the rainforest. Fuck a Forrest Gump; You prolly like it in the rump. Fuck a shoe pump. Fuck the real deal and fuck all the fakes. Fuck all fifty-two states oooh! And fuck you. Fuck the world, Fuck 'em all. Fuck Oprah, fuck opera, fuck a soap opera. Fuck a pop locker and a cockblocker. Fuck your girlfriend I prolly did her already Fuck Kyle and brother Todd Petty Jump Steady My homie, fuck him. What the fuck you gonna do? [Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<fuck [...] bitch,>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] Fuck you Fuck me Fuck us Fuck Tom, fuck Mary, fuck Gus Fuck Darius Fuck the west coast and fuck everybody on the east. East shit and die, Or fuck off at least. Fuck preschoolers. Fuck rulers Kings and queens and gold jewelers. Fuck wine coolers. Fuck chickens, fuck ducks. Everybody in your crew sucks, Dumb motherfucks. Fuck critics, fuck your review. Even if you like me, Fuck you. Fuck your mom. Fuck your mom’s mama. Fuck the Beastie Boys and the Dali Lama Fuck the rainforest. Fuck a Forrest Gump; You prolly like it in the rump. Fuck a shoe pump. Fuck the real deal and fuck all the fakes. Fuck all fifty-two states oooh! And fuck you. Fuck the world, Fuck 'em all. Fuck Oprah, fuck opera, fuck a soap opera. Fuck a pop locker and a cockblocker. Fuck your girlfriend I prolly did her already Fuck Kyle and brother Todd Petty Jump Steady My homie, fuck him. What the fuck you gonna do? <Fuck that, bitch, Fuck you!> Yeah? Well fuck you too. Don’t bother trying to analyze these rhymes. In this song I say fuck ninety-three times. Fuck your government, and fuck Fred Bear. Fuck Nugent, like anybody gives a fuck. You like to hunt a lot So fuckin what? Fuck disco, Count of Monte Cristo. Fuck Cisco and Jack and Jerry Brisco. And fuck everyone who went down on the Titanic, in a panic. I’m like fuck you all! Fuck Celine Dion and fuck Dionne Warwick; You both make me sick. Suck my dick. Fuck the Berlin Wall, both sides of it. And fuck Lyle Lovett, whoever the fuck that is. Fuck everybody in the hemisphere. Fuch them across the world, and fuck them right here. You know the guy that operates the Rouge River draw bridge in Delray on Jefferson? FUCK HIM Fuck your idea, fuck your gonorrhea Fuck your diarrhea, Rocky Miavia Fuck your wife, your homie did, he’s fucking you. Fuck the police and the 5-0, too. Fuck Spin Rolling Stone Fuck Vibe Fuck everybody inside Whoever’s on the cover, Fuck his mother Fuck your brother’s homie from around the way And Fuck Violent J (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 26th, 2006
5:32 pm	magic card ideas [[[THIS IS A REALLY LONG POST ABOUT MAGIC. IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE GAME, START A' SCROLLIN']]] Yes, its true. I've thought enough about the game that I've wanted to make my own cards. Decent ones, too. Unfortunately, Wizards of the Coast doesn't accept amateur entries. Still, it seems just kinda pointless for me to have these ideas and no one ever to see them. So, I'm gonna open up a little bit of a thread here, and post any ideas I have about magic cards whenever I have them. Hopefully, someone with some clout might even see this one day and be courteous enough to plagiarize my stuff. I personally couldn't care less. If you all want, you can do the same. Keep in mind, I've been having ideas like these since I first got into Magic, and I've just written a few of them down occasionally, so don't jump to the conclusion that I'm so completely obsessed about it. blah =P. By the way, I guess I should note the format: [cardname] mana cost card type rules text. All references to cardname refer only to that card (duh) power/toughness (if a creature) So here goes. Sac of Crap 1WU sorcery Each player sacrifes all creatures he or she controls. For each creature sacrificed this way, it's owner may put a 0/1 colorless crap creature token with defender into play. Obviously a joke card, suitable for an Unhinged-style set. Painful Compromise 1B Enchantment 0: Choose a permanent you control that has an activated ability that requires that permanent to be sacrificed. You may sacrifice [cardname] and the chosen permanent. If you do, choose an activated ability of that permanent, and play it without paying its activation cost. The next few are artifact creatures in a series I thought of whose abilites are tied to the type of mana you use. Manaform Sentinel 5 Artifact Creature - Manaform Note the type of mana used to pay cardname’s mana cost. If W was used, cardname gains Vigilance. If B was used, cardname gains Fear If U was used, cardname gains Flying If R was used, cardname gains Haste. If G was used, cardname gains Trample. 2/1 Xill 7 Artifact Creature – Manaform Legend At the beginning of your upkeep, pay 5 or sacrifice Xill. Note the type of mana used to pay Xill’s upkeep cost. If W, Xill gains “Xill may block any number of creatures” until your next upkeep. If U, Xill gains “UU: untap target nonland permanent you control” until your next upkeep. If B, Xill gains “pay 2 life: remove Xill from the game. Return Xill to play under owner’s control at end of turn” until your next upkeep. If R, Xill gains “T: destroy target artifact or enchantment” until your next upkeep. If G, Xill gains “All creatures able to block Xill do so” until your next upkeep.. 2/5 Now just a bunch of random ideas: Vital Library 9 Artifact This spell costs 1 less to play for each card in your hand Whenever you draw a card, you may gain 1 life. Terse Negotiations WUBRG Enchantment Any player may play spells without paying their mana costs. If a player does, any player may pay X, where X is half the spell’s converted mana cost, rounded up. If a player does, that spell is countered. Deep Meditation 3U Enchantment Each player draws cards from the bottom of his or her library. Bursting with Ideas XBBB Enchantment At the beginning of each player’s pre-combat main phase, each player draws a card. At the end of each players turn, each player loses life equal to the total number of cards in his/her hand greater than seven minus X. X cannot be greater then seven. 2W: ignore Bursting with Ideas until end of turn. Any player may play this ability, but only at the beginning of any player’s upkeep. Hegemony 5 Sorcery Reveal your hand. If you have seven or more basic land cards of the same type in your hand, you win the game. Hegemony is green. Breaking the Scales 4RW Enchantment Sacrifice all permanents: Gain 20 life. Any opponent may play this ability. 3U: Counter above ability. This ability can only be played if target opponent using the above ability sacrifices 4 or fewer permanents to pay its cost. Enlightenment 6BU Sorcery As an additional cost to play [cardname], sacrfice all permanents you control. For the rest of the game, you cannot play spells or lands. The next time a permanent comes into play under your control, you win the game. Archmage's Sacrifice W Enchantment Permanents you control that produce mana may produce mana of any color. If a permanent you control produces mana of a color it could not produce without [cardname], you lose 1 life. My last set of ideas revolved around a concept for legendary sorceries and instants, and grew into a new mechanic that I haven't named yet. Flames of Legend 3R Sorcery As an additional cost to play Flames of Legend, reveal your hand. If there are one or fewer copies of a card named Flames of Legend in your hand, this spell is countered. Flames of Legend deals seven damage to target creature or player. This damage cannot be prevented. Tales of Legend 3U Instant As an additional cost to play Tales of Legend, reveal your hand. If there are 1 or fewer copies of a card named Tales of Legend in your hand, this spell is countered. Draw seven cards. Beasts of Legend 3G Creature - Beast As an additional cost to play Beasts of Legend, reveal your hand. If there are 1 or fewer copies of a card named Beasts of Legend in your hand, this spell is countered. Trample, Doublestrike 4/7 Will of Legend 3B Sorcery As an additional cost to play Will of Legend, reveal your hand. If there are 1 or fewer copies of a card named Will of Legend in your hand, this spell is countered Target player discards his or her hand. That player skips his or her next upkeep and draw step. Guardians of Legend 3W Enchantment As an additional cost to play Guardian of Legends, reveal your hand. If there are 1 or fewer copies of a card named Will of Legend in your hand, this spell is countered. 2W: gain seven life. Put Guardians of Legend on top of its owner's library So there you go. An amazingly long, completely irrelavent post, just to get two years of ideas off my back. If I ever post again, it will be a comment to this so that I don't constantly fill your screen with nonsense. In the meantime, ciao! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 15th, 2006
5:56 pm	I seem to have some fatigue issues to work out. I woke up today, as usual, at 7:45. And, as usual, I hit the snooze. But today I hit it till about 8:50, fifteen minutes before class, which I personally think is no good. Still, that in itself is no real big. But after all my classes, I was popping into the Leech Center to take a shower before work. I VERY nearly went into the Women's locker room. I mean, I had the door pushed open and one foot beyond the threshold before I chanced to glance up at the door to see 'WO.' I kinda wonder what would have happened now. It probably best that I don't find out. I also kinda blahed my way through work. I even screwed up a couple of orders, which I never do, and is in fact almost impossible to do. I think the weirdest part though is that I don't have much of an appetite, which really sucks because most of the plans I have for this week upcoming revolve around food. Tell me, am I the only one that does this: I'll be really, godawfully thirsty, but also just a little bit hungry, so I decide to pour myself a bowl of cereal with a little extra milk. And it seems like every time I do this, I try to get as LITTLE milk onto each spoonful as possible, so I'm left with a well of sweetened milk at the end, and it's like the nectar of the friggin gods when I get to it. Is this wierd and/or uncommon? Oh, and by the way, Charlie seems to be completely gone, supplanted by some new upstart calico. Actually, it may not be a calico, since it seems to be male and sexually harrasses Naomi to no end. Unless Naomi has gone lesbian and has found a VERY butch life partner. Then it could be a calico. But that's not the point. The point was the Charlie being gone thing that has me actually very saddened. Hey, I just realized that this is one of the stupidest logs I've ever written, so I'm gonna cut it short and get some rest....and pick up my toaster from Tara's... and Munchkin from Warren... and some cable service from Comcast...and fix my car...and I'm gonna see if I can graduate in fewer than two and a half more years... and probably actually NOT get some rest now that I look at it. and now I leave you to ponder something that has greatly troubled me since I watched The Aristocrats: can a dick flattened in a desk drawer to the thickness of a leather bookmark get off on skull-fucking a ROUND eye socket? I'll go ahead and letthat one stew in your minds for a little bit. itsumon boku wa soba ni iru dayo. The Answer when we come back. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 7th, 2006
9:45 pm	This absolutely fucking sucks. I have a test to study for in Japanese. On material I'm not 100% on. And instead of being able to study, my mind keeps rolling over the events of last night. Try as I might, I can't comprehend how two wonderful months can be swept away so easily and so completely by a conversation last lasted all of a minute and a half. And I really want to figure this out. I'm devastated by this turn of events, and if I can't understand how my feelings and words caused them, then there's no way for me to make it right. To the best of my recollection, I don't think anything I said should have caused such a complete reversal of fate. I adamantly denied being angry, and I was truthful in that. At most I was sullen and short-winded, signs more of disappointment than anger. I know even in that reaction I was wrong, but I had my own reasons for reacting that way that I can't get into. ... I guess it doesn;t matter, though. I've already apologized, more sincerely and earnestly than ever before. Hate me, like me, ignore me, call on me. None of it is in my hands now. The ball is in someone else's court, so now all I can do is wait and see what happens. God, I hope SOMETHING happens. Current Mood: clueless (Comment on this)
2:33 am	I blame it on that angry rap music yeah... I've just been sitting in my car for the last two hours, and I can't get around it. I'll be damned if I don't screw up every good thing I have going for me. This night has been so completely my fault that my brain has actually been in denial for the last two hours, and has been trying to substitute tonight's events with other scenarios which, while certainly no more preferable to me, at least put me somewhat in the right. If I may say, and I believe this is due to a steady stream of Insane Clown Posse over the last few days, some of the scenarios actually got quite violent. I didn't like that very much at all. But hey, it's currently 2:40am, so I can't really help it if my mind runs away with me at this point. Putting all that aside, though, i still have to face the fact that I've hurt Jenne. Again. And I do indeed face that fact, and am willing to volunteer myself for any punishment deemed necessary. I've been working so hard to try to earn her friendship back -which for the most part I like to think I have succeeded, but at just the moment when she needs it proven, I have exactly the wrong reaction, and now I'm terrified once again that I need to start from scratch. Having to prove all over again that I am the person she once thought I was. So, if I may rewind time about three hours, I'd like to rephrase my response: I can wait, Jenne. I'm in no hurry. I'm not going anywhere. Please feel better. If only that could really work... ... ... nope, I waited a good two minutes, and there was no spiral fade, no fancy rewind, no Wayne and Garth wiggling their fingers as they scroll across the screen. I'm stuck with what I actually said. I am so sorry for that, Jenne. I'd give anything to take it back and replace it with what I really feel. Okay, it's about 3am now. I'm convinced of two things. One, I either type or think extraordinarily slowly to have only written this amount in a half hour's time. Two, I'm probably not going to sleep tonight. Which is just as well, cause there's almost no chance I would have have woken up with my alarm at seven o'clock. With all that's going through my mind right now, I doubt I'd have a very peaceful rest, anyway. on that note, I'm going to mention a few things. First, I'm going to stop correcting my typos. It's too late for that kind of thing. Second, I'm going to start a stream of consciousness entry now. This may get wordy, escpecially since I have about four hours to work with, so you may feel free to skip ahead. Third, this sentence is here because I used the word 'few,' which traditionally denotes three or more events, and since I've already sworn off editing, this is my only recourse. It's been a long time since I've been able to watch anybody sleep. And I don;t mean that in a creepy way. I'm not a heavy-breathing wierdo or anything. I don't know how many of you know this about me, but ever since high school, I've loved to watch people as they slumber. Well, maybe 'watch' isn't the right word. I'm not expecting them to do anything. But 'stare' isn't right,either, since that brings us back to the creepy vibe that I was trying to steer clear of. maybe 'ponder' or 'observe.' when people are awake, they're slaves to their bodies' desires; 'eat this,' 'walk there', ' hold it in,' 'fuck that.' The body and mind are constantly searching for stimuli, and there's never any end to it. To actually be able to witness a single mind quiet down for a few hours, to see the body lax, no longer yearning for sustenance and sensation (at least temporarily), I consider that an amazing friggin' event, and it's tragic that we each have to be unconcious for our own stint of slumber. Unable to realize that for nearly a third of a day (if we're lucky), for nearly a third of our lifetimes, we can actually live without needing something else. Just blessed breath and our own minds feeding themselves. I miss being able to see that. On that note, I'm hungry. Being awake sucks. How many people do you think there are in hell that are wondering exactly what they did to get there? I mean, can you not know? The number probably gets smaller as time passes. I'm sure that at some point before eternity ends, at least a few tortured souls look back on their lives and go "oh....right...." Like I said, stream of consciousness. don;t blame me if some of this stuff is kinda wierd. Blame my subconscious. I think it may have been folly to start buying more Magic cards. I still don't have anyone to play with, so I'm basically building decks for my health. and based on my flu, I've been making some pretty crappy decks. still, I shan't be deterred by that. Err.. shalln't I? I was gonna say that I might consider selling my decks.... again. I have a feeling I'm going to be back and forth on this for a while. SHITE! I forgot to pay the rent. Fizznudge, I'll have to add another six dollars to the total. I was told of an intriguing onption the other day. A friend of my mom's from work had the same problem I'm having right now in college. Namely, she had a few classes that were being spaced out over two years or so, and she didn't want to have to pay extra money each semester to take her one necessary class and three or four fluff classes. So she talked to the dean, and they had her exempted from the rest of the requirements and let her graduate without taking those classes. Spiffitude, ne? I dunno how that option makes me feel though. Leaving that much quicker. Dosn't seem cool. I could use my Japanese classes as an excuse to stay in school, but I can learn the language itself from any number of places, up to and including Japan. hmmm.. Oh yeah, excellent friggin news here, my friends. My brother dropped out of high school. I can't believe that little shit. I knew he had no special fondness of school, but I didn't figure him to become a statistic. Well, with that, the drugs, the booze, the sex, and the car accidents, well he's already halfway to the nearest trailer park. I'm not sure which would be more effective in putting some sense back into him; talking or beating. Neither would work at this point, I'm sure. At the tone, the local time will be 3:37 am.....beep. owww. Coughing is no fun. But for that matter, being here is no fun. That can't be helped tonight, I guess, but at least if I hadn't screwed up I would be able to sleep. Dang. There they go again. Those violent, wretched thoughts. It's really kinda scary that I think up some of this stuff. As a general rule, I do not like ACTUAL violence visited upon my fellow man. Cinema violence can be entertaining and, quite often, very humorous, and I enjoy it at length. But the kind of stuph that keeps popping into my head is quite disconcerting, and I don't know exactly where its coming from. Well, my head, yeah, but why? I must have some anger issues. I'm starting to become concerned that this lack of sleep may be of further detriment to my health............. oh wells. One of these days I'm going to need to shave part of the right side of my head to have a birthmark removed. I only bring it up because I think it would look kinda freaky to have just one part of my head shaved. Very lab experimenty. Should I try to even it out, or with for it to grow back? Or maybe just stick a few diodes into my skull and go with it. Tsunehiko-chan is being uncharacteristically affectionate tonight.......today... right now. I don't know what's causing it, but it's more than welcome. Maybe she can sense that daddy is sad. Right, upon further reflection, I'm gonna try to go to sleep. It's now 4:03 am. I won't sleep well, and I won't wanna get up, but hey, so it goes. if every person were allowed one opportunity in thier lifetime to fix something they did wrong in the past, if I hadn't used mine three years ago, I'd have used it tonight. I'll always be by your side. Current Mood: desperate (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 29th, 2006
2:02 pm	There is no cure for this kind of illness... Excerpt taken from Magic the Gathering saturday School session toward the end of last year. God help us all. Peaple like this exist. Q: I was playing in a multiplayer game with some friends of mine recently. One player played a proxy of the Richard Garfield unique card Proposal to propose to his girlfriend. I played Spelljack to remove it from the game. On my turn I used Mindslaver, targeting the player who had originally attempted to propose. On his turn, I played the Spelljacked Proposal using Vedalken Orrery, and since I make all decisions for that player, I had him accept my proposal and we become engaged to be married. We've set a date, but at this time there is some question as whether our marriage will be recognized by our state's constitution, which states that marriage is a relationship between one man and one woman. I understand that a previous ruling stated that the laws of local governments supersede the Magic Comprehensive Rules and DCI Floor Rules, but I am allowed by law to appeal constitutional matters and disputes with state governments to the Supreme Court, who may in turn overturn laws made at the state and federal level. My question is, does the Proposal resolve, does it remain on the stack until the Supreme Court makes their final decision, or does it fizzle because our male/male union is currently outlawed by state law? Does it matter at all if the issue is on the Supreme Court docket for their next session? If this were a sanctioned tournament, would we be granted a time extension for the round until the Supreme Court had made a decision? --John F. A: No, the Proposal does not wait for the Supreme Court. As I understand it, it's the marriage, not the engagement that your local laws prohibit. Unless your local laws prohibit engagements, you should be fine legality-wise. It doesn't matter what's on the docket for the Supreme Court until you have to worry about your nuptials. Additionally, I'll note that Proposal mentions "Richard" and "Lily" by name, so unless your middle name is Richard, or perhaps Lily, and your friend's name is the other, Proposal isn't going to work for you. As for sanctioned events, the DCI is pursuing sanctioned multiplayer formats, but they still don't allow proxies, so your friend's copy of Proposal isn't going to work. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 24th, 2006
12:45 am	I'm just saying is all Why do we intellectualize sex anyway? It resides in an exalted position in the visceral pantheon because it is the Great Unfigurable. We don't know much about it, but we do know that the orgasm never disappoints. You've never come and thought, "Eeeuugh, what was that?!" It's always there for you. You know that incredible feeling when you're in the midst of one of those Santino Corleone door-banging froths, one of those Arthur C. Clark memorial fucks, where you look down at the bottom of the bed and see that big monolith, and you don't have any idea what it means, but you know something really, really important is about to happen. And the guy's got that Eddie Vedder head-shake thing going, and the woman's muttering under her breath like Donovan singing "Hurdy Gurdy Man." And you realize at that precise moment you are at the pleasurable epicenter of the Milky Way galaxy. And then, as so frequently happens in human endeavors, one or the other sexual partners inadvertantly hurts the other person by accidentally elbowing them, or leaning on their hair. The pain breaks the sexual frame of reference. We begin to decompress and intellectualize again. And when you consider sex from that narrow perspective, you see it's really such an odd, quirky little exercise. And the woman's just about to kiss her own tit, she sees you looking at her that tilt-head look like your dog at his bowl when you change his food on him. She realizes you're no longer in the throes of it. She tries to smooth her way out, but she know's you've caught her. And she looks at you and says, "If you evermention it, I'll kill you in your sleep, you treacherous motherfucker." And that is sex, so leave it at that and don't even try to figure it out. (Comment on this)
Monday, January 16th, 2006
12:11 pm	18 hours and counting I've been sick to my stomach ever since yesterday, and I know its not because of Cinnabon. I haven't been able to eat anything, do anything, concentrate on anything but one thing. I've just lain wrapped up in a blanket, curled up, cradling my cell phone. Waiting. I'm absolutely terrified. (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 12th, 2006
5:26 pm	ok... so I lied about that being the last entry, of course. not the whole getting out of here thing. Anyway, I'm just posting because my mumsy told me about a strange piece of news, and I thought this was the best way to inform pretty much everyone I know. Apparently, cell phone numbers are going public, so solicitors will be able to call them pretty much whenever. They suck enough as it is, without wasting my minutes. So evidently there's a number you can call to be put on a do not call list that will keep you from... being called.. for five years. It's (888)382-1222. I don't know how informed everyone else is about this, but I just heard about it. And in case anyone thinks its some kind of scam, I personally tend to trust it. My mom got the information from an interoffice memo from The Department of People Who Keep Track of Things Like This. Oh yeah, I was told that you have to call from the cell phone you want blocked... then give the number. I'm not sure why both are necessary, but hey, whatever. Since i'm posting anyway, I'll put up some other tidbits. My jaw hurts. Has all morning. Dunno why. Just does. It actually pops like its going in and out of its joint. Lovely, ne? Also, I figured I would give away/ sell my magic cards, if anyone is interested. I never use them except for at Festivus, and that doesn't quite make it worth having them around. Plus I could use the cash. Kinda sucks, though, since I just went on something of a Magic binge over Winter Break, and now my christmas cash is pretty much wasted. Anywho, just thought I'd let everyone know this stuph. especially my jaw... Gaw Dang it hurts. chisaku arimasenyou! Current Mood: jealous (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 11th, 2006
10:28 pm	end on a low note Well, it's been a while. The first livejournal post I've made since before winter break, so there's definitely news. By the way, I think this may be the last entry in this journal. There's not a whole lot of reason in keeping it going, since everyone who wants to know anything in particular about my life knows it long before I ever post it. Let's see. The most exciting news from break of course is that Sarah and Brad got married. Yay for them. For anyone who didn't know, that's also the day my car done got banged up IN THE EXACT SAME PLACE AS BEFORE. Aside from some damage to the door and a receipt for a new tire, you couldn't really tell any damage had been done. On the previous matrimonial note, I still haven't started working on Sarah's wedding present. Unlike previous school years, I'm actually managing to keep myself busy this time around, and when I'm not in school or at work, I'm pretty much exhausted. The topics of school and exhaustion bring to my final note, that which will end this entry and possibly this journal. My semester was supposed to be comprised of a few key elements: Japanese 1121; to catch me up and prepare me for where I left off; The Buddhist Tradition, for which I found my previous grade lacking; and Chinese Economy, one of the THREE, COUNT 'EM THREE, classes I need to complete my major and graduate. Well guess what? Chinese Economy was cancelled this semester because too few people signed up. As it was, my plan was structured so that I could only take one of these three courses per semester (not my choice, it's just how they were scheduled), meaning that now I will more than likely have to spend two years trying to take three classes in order to graduate. This is not acceptable. I would be fine taking just the one class I need per semester but for three things: one, two extra years here means two extra years of renting an expensive apartment or otherwise paying bunches o' bills. Two, if I started going to school less than full time for more than one semester, my financial aid payback will kick in, and this tremendous debt I have will crush me while I'm still in school. Third, as long as I'm in school, I don't have the time necessary to invest in a job that could actually pay me enough to handle these crippling debts. As such, I've decided to accelerate my education. Tomorrow I'm going to talk to my dean about several options to help me get all my credits within two semesters (not counting this one), one if I'm really lucky. I'm talking dual enrollment at FAMU (if indeed they have any of the classes I need), online courses or correspondence work from UF (since I know for a fact they have an Asian Studies program). Maybe I'll even be able to sway policy and get some of the courses I need to be placed in the same friggin' semester (this idea sounds a little less plausible, but I can hope =P). If worse comes to absolute worst, I might transfer. Who knows? Maybe I'll even study abroad. All I know is I can't sit around here and wait for two years, taking 48 credit hours to fend off loan collection when I only need 9 to graduate. There's nothing holding me here anymore, and unlike Jenne, I definitely have NOT fallen in love with this place. In fact, since I came here, every aspect of my life has had a slow and steady downturn; my relationship with Jenne, the rest of my friends, my family, and my grades. I've had some wonderful individual experiences, but where am I now? Sitting alone in my apartment, having driven my roommate out, coming back from just failing out of college, and most of the friends I have here don't really want anything to do with me. But I digress... In any case, there's nothing left for me here now but a diploma, and I'm tired of waiting for that. I'm not really sure how to end this. It's not really like I'm saying goodbye to anybody, not yet anyway. I am pushing up the timetable for it, though, and I'm not sure if I should apologize. I guess I figure that out later and let you know in person. itsumon boku was soba ni iru dayo. lmL (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 17th, 2005
11:27 pm	nightmares at night, life during the day... or is it the other way around? First off, congrats to Jenne. No one's earned a degree more than she has, all things considered. Just wanted to be the first one out there to post it since the ceremony. Now, to the meat and potatoes. After said ceremony, I came home, played some video games, played some more video games, took a nap (which was obviously folly since I am now awake posting in Livejournal rather than sleeping before I open at work tomorrow...), and finally just ended up going to bed. But I realized that all these things I'm doing are the same things I've been doing for the past four years, with very few exceptions. It's always been my habit to be rather escapist. I don't like thinking about my problems, very much less talking about them. And I'm not even referring solely to all the problems in my social life, all-encompassing as they may be. I've never talked about all the trouble I've had at school, the struggling and the absence of motivation to study, do homework, all the things that make sense to do in college. I've never talked about my family problems, with my brother doing God knows what whenever he wants, basically treating my parents the same way I used to back in high school: innkeepers that I didn't have much to do with. But boy have I been thinking about them recently. I don't even know why I'm talking about it now, even in these somewhat vague terms. Except that in the civic center it finally hit me that Jenne has far surpassed me in pretty much every way; her life is far more together than mine has ever been, and now I'm being totally left behind. It's such a scary thought, especially now that I'm alone all the time. I have only a general sense of where I want my life to go, and I have a feeling that I'm not going to get what I want. So what then? I'm not sure where I wanted this post to go. If I was trying to get things off my chest, I don't feel like I've done that, but I also can't put anything else into words. It's kinda wierd to say at this point, but I wish Nikki Flaster was around. She had a way of making people feel better just by being there. If I wanted to tell people how I feel, then I've obviously failed at that since everybody knows at least this much already. I suddenly feel very foolish, so I'm gonna post this before I change my mind and delete everything I just said. And maybe if you see me playing video games by myself you could try to get me up off my ass and do something more constructive. Thank you everyone for being around as much as you have. I know that since Jenne moved out, none of you even have any reason to like me, let alone talk to me on occasion. I know I've been whining about being alone alot, but that's just because without anyone around, I start doing alot of thinking. And I just went over how much I hate thinking. In any case, I'm sorry. itsumon boku wa soba ni iru dayo. i miss you too Current Mood: exanimate (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 14th, 2005
9:18 pm	a mood swing and a miss Hey, do a few of you remember coming to my place and then stopping because you smelled something funny? Yeah, well I found it. The kittens have been peeing in the corner of my house next to the entertainment center for I don't know how long. grrr. I wanna smack em, but that won't do any good. I guess I've been living around it so long that I didn't even smell it until I was right on top of it (I was cleaning at the time.) Among the casualties: - my black bean bag chair - two throw pillows - the love seat cover (there was some...ick... splashing... when I picked up the bean bag chair, lousy non-absorbent piece of crap. Don't worry, the couch itself is fine, Jenne) - a green white artifact deck, some components of which were so soaked that they stuck to the floor. blech. This one in particular sucked. Even though most of the cards were eighth edition and of little value, I still lost some good cards, like llanowar behemoth-level cards. Oh, and tower of Eons, which was actually worth money sans urine. In any case, the whole mess has been cleaned up, all contaminated articles have been thrown away, and the area has been liberally sprayed with deodorizers and perfumizers. It's actually kinda hard to breathe at the moment, the aerolsol fumes are still in the air. Hopefully, the next time you guys come over (whenever that is) there shouldn't be any problem with funk. In the meantime, I'm swearing to kick their tiny kitten asses if they ever do that again. Maybe I should get them spayed? Who knows... Well, back to studying for me, at least for a little while, then I'm going to get some sleep and wake up for my morning death march to work. Vaya con dios. itsumon boku wa sobi ni iru dayo. Current Mood: pissed...hehe (Comment on this)